When your heart is no longer there, everything seem so sian...everything seem very loooooooooooong cos you keep on counting the number of days for it to end.

I tried to be positive and optimist but I guess I can't, at least for now....all these make it bad...
- the low turn ups
- the lack of motivation (for myself)
- the lack of desire to continue (for myself)
- the not very good outcomes

I know I shouldn't be saying this cos I am suppose to be the motivated, optimistic one...hey, I'm human too... Maybe I shouldn't have hold it, I guess I don't deserve it...at least for now. If I can, I would want to run away but that will only make me look like a coward..

I tried not to think about this but how can I not when every week I have to go through it? Maybe I need some distractions...I wonder how some of them can endure it for years...out of loyalty? Maybe that is what makes me different from them...

The more I spend time with them (the different them), the greater the desire to leave.

Talking to a friend who is in the same boat doesn't make ourselves better but worst.... One thing for sure, we all have our UPs and DOWNs and this is my DOWN...hopefully, I will go UP soon... I think I should take a break but I guess I can't...

Recently my entries revolves around the same thing. Like I said, maybe this is my down period or maybe this is my PMS period. hahah...


ENDURE is what I shall do now and learn to enjoy it ONCE AGAIN....


endure...
endure...
endure...
endure...
endure...
endure...
endure...

For now, I have to finish where I started and hopefully, it will finish well and that opportunity I missed will come again.